


Calloused Hands In A Perfect World

by delilah24



Series: Sabriel One-Shots [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Background Destiel, Background Relationships, But then there's fluff, Fluff, Gabriel Angst, M/M, Mild Angst, Mild Sabriel angst, No Smut, Sabriel - Freeform, Sabriel Fluff, Sabriel angst, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16320446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delilah24/pseuds/delilah24
Summary: Before turning to Lucifer for Archangel grace, Rowena and the boys try to find an alternate spell that can possibly open the rift. But, when Dean gets violent in a fit of rage, something goes wrong and Gabriel finds himself in an alternate universe where all of Dad's plans went exactly as they should have.





	Calloused Hands In A Perfect World

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in between the events of 13x21, after they discover Gabriel doesn't have enough grace to open the rift and before they trick Lucifer into giving them grace.
> 
> This was a request from Tumblr, and I had so much fun writing it! I'll also be drawing a cover for it, but since it's not done and I'm too excited to keep from posting this, I'll be adding it in later!

“Hand me that jar over there, would you dearie?”

Rowena pointed a long finger without even looking up from her mixing bowl. Gabriel followed it and grabbed the jar filled with some sort of herb, sighing lazily. Without a source of archangel grace, they were exploring alternative spells before turning to Lucifer. So far, there was no luck. While Sam and Dean were catching a few winks of sleep, as it was the middle of the night, Gabriel was stuck as Rowena’s assistant. He felt awkward around her ever since their hookup. Ever since he saw the look of betrayal on Sam’s face.

“Gabe! Hello!” Rowena snapped her fingers in his face, startling Gabriel out of his guilt. “Ugh, I’ll get it myself,” She stood and stomped over to her collection, rifling through it until she found what she needed and returning to her spot. “No wonder you’re a bottom,” she muttered under her breath. Gabriel clenched his fist. First of all, he was a switch, and secondly he’d rather her not make comments about their ‘session’ together.

“Hey Rowena, can we forget that ever happened? As in not mentioning it? Ever?” Gabriel asked.

Rowena scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Ugh, gladly. No offense, but I don’t exactly like the boys knowing I did that with you.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. How could he not take offense to that? He opened his mouth to defend himself, then realized if he pissed Rowena off further she may start to ask questions. He lowered his hand and rapped his knuckles against the table. “None taken. Thanks,” He muttered.

Rowena finished with a dramatic flourish of her wrist. “Go get the boys - The spell is done.”

Gabriel saluted, “Aye aye, Captain,” He remarked sarcastically as he went off to the boy’s bedrooms. He knocked loudly on Dean’s door, and at the click of a gun, Gabriel shouted, “It’s me! Get out here, Rowena’s spell is ready. And tell Cas to come to so he can stop watching you creepily.”

Dean opened the door with tired eyes and messy hair, which was all Gabriel could see as Dean hid the rest of his body behind the door. This, Gabriel knew, was the same position he hid in whenever Loki or someone would knock on his door while he was ‘in the middle of something’. It was more like he was in the middle of someone though. Cas was nowhere in sight either. “We’ll be out in a minute, got it?”

Gabriel made a point of looking at Dean’s bedhead. “You guys are shit liars,” he grinned as Dean slammed his door shut. Next, he knocked on Sam’s door. “Sam? Get out here, Rowena’s done.” There was no response. Gabriel bit his lip. Things had been a bit awkward between them ever since his little hookup. But at the time, Gabriel had no idea that Sam...He only found out when Cas told him. And Sam didn’t know that he knew...it was tension wrapped in tension wrapped in tension. He hated it. So he was really hoping he could just knock on Sam’s door and get on with everything quickly, but it looked like he had to go in. He turned the doorknob and slowly opened it, the light of the bunker illuminating Sam’s figure in bed. Still, he didn’t shift. Gabriel walked over to the bed, and he frowned as he saw Sam’s face. It was contorted and red, slick with cold sweat. “Sam, wake up,” Gabriel placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and shook him. “Sam!”

Sam gasped and jolted up, going for the gun under his pillow before Gabriel grabbed his wrist. “Jesus Sam, it’s me, Gabe! It sucks waking you two up, I swear to Dad I’m going to get shot doing this.”

Sam took a deep breath and wiped his hand across his forehead, “Sorry Gabe. I was having a...really bad dream,” He murmured, glancing down. Gabriel swore he could see what was running in his mind behind those tired eyes - memories of torture, of pain, of loneliness. Or maybe he was just seeing a reflection of his own thoughts.

“It’s okay. Come out to the library, Rowena’s got the spell ready.” Gabriel turned to leave but then stopped as he realized he was still holding on to Sam’s wrist. He blushed in embarrassment, and Sam was looking away so Gabriel couldn’t read his expression. The archangel released his grip and wiped his hand on his pants. “You feel like an oil spill,” He tried to ease the air with his joke. Sam just snorted. Gabriel could tell a question weighed on his mind. And this was the first time the two had been alone in a while.

“Speaking of Rowena…” Sam started. Gabriel sucked in his breath silently. Oh boy, here it comes. “Are you two dating?”

Gabriel shook his head and scrunched up his nose. “Ew, no, it was just a one time thing. I swear. I didn’t exactly get any action when I was...well, locked up. I was just desperate,” He reassured. Sam nodded slowly, not seeming to quite believe Gabriel. Looking back down at Sam’s hand, Gabriel grabbed it impulsively, slipping his fingers between Sam’s. 

Sam’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but Gabe pretended to barely even acknowledge it, acting like he didn’t get a shiver up his spine at the coolness of Sam’s palm or that his own heart wasn’t pounding at the sensation of Sam’s pulse. Nope, this was perfectly normal, just two dudes holding hands, not at all gay in any way, shape, or form. 

He jerked Sam out of bed and led him out to the library, where everyone else was waiting. Gabriel stood close enough to Sam so that they hid their still connected hands behind their backs. He was surprised Sam hadn’t retracted his yet, not like he was complaining though. His calloused fingertips brushed against his own, creating this nice, rough feeling. He hid his smile, yet snuck a glance at Sam who glanced back, a light, barely noticable blush creeping across his cheek.

“Everyone ready?” Rowena asked. The team gave a collective nod, and Rowena closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, then recited the incantation. “Summone possibilities diu perdidi ex hoc mundo.”

There was a sudden spark, a flash of bright light, and suddenly a portal appeared, swirling with purple and gold as it apparated nearest to Gabriel. Gabriel frowned in disappointment. This was not at all what the Rift looked like.

“Well, that was a bust, but what the hell is this?” Dean asked, arms crossed.

Rowena grabbed the book she had found the spell in from the table. “The spell says it ‘summons a world that leads to the lost possibilities of a person’s life’. I thought the apocalypse could qualify as a possibility,” She explained with a sigh.

“What do you mean ‘possibility’?” Sam asked. He finally let his hand drop away from Gabriel’s.

“According to the spell, the other option or outcome of a choice. For example, if you chose to have one cereal in this world, in the world this one summons you might be having the other cereal. But it also says that this other world sometimes results in all or at least most of the best options and outcomes, so you might still be eating that cereal or eating the other cereal you passed up in the other world. It’s all a gamble.”

“Huh. Sounds interesting,” Gabriel murmured, glancing at the portal with intrigue. He wondered...what would his world look like?

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t give us jack shit,” Dean lost his cool, anger seeping into his voice. He walked over to Rowena, snatching the paper from his hand and crumpling it, “How would the apocalypse be the ideal choice or whatever? You just wasted our time with a stupid spell!” Dean shouted at Rowena.

“I said that the world might consist of-”

“In a perfect world, we wouldn’t even have to waste our time with you.”

“Dean -” Sam left Gabriel’s side and walked over to his brother, “Calm down, we tried something and it didn’t work, we’ll look some more -”

Dean shouted out in pain and jumped, glaring at Rowena, “Keep your heels off my feet, bitch!”

“Then stop insulting the only witch powerful enough and willing to help you!” Rowena hissed, her eyes sparking with purple. Dean gritted his teeth, jaw clenched. In frustration he swept Rowena’s mixing bowl off the table, the ingredients clattering to the ground.

Suddenly, the portal started flashing, pulsating energy. Gabriel whipped around, eyes widening as it started to warp, glitching like a poorly rendered video game. It flashed a bright white again, blinding Gabriel. He closed his eyes, stuck in place as he rubbed them, unable to see.

“What’s happening?”

“Gabe, get back!” Sam shouted.

It was too late - Gabriel got a feeling familiar to when he passed through the gate of Heaven, like he was switching places at the snap of a finger, but this was much more intense - painful, almost. His head pounded, each different part being probed by some invisible force. He didn’t even realize he was screaming until the ringing in his ears stopped. As suddenly as the sensation began, it was over, and once again there was ground under Gabriel’s feet. Still in shock, he stumbled backwards and fell flat on his back, cursing under his breath as the hard ground hurt his ass. Well, it wasn’t that bad. At least there was this soft grass to cushion his fall.

Grass. Aw shit, did he make a flower garden again on accident? He did that sometimes when he tried to make a rose for whatever lady of the week he was trying to impress. He sat up, and quickly forgot the theory as he saw the wide stretching meadow in front of him - no, it was more than a meadow. A sparkling lake reflected the perfectly golden sunlight, no longer blocked by the pollution of humans. The trees bore ripe, juicy fruit, and all around there were quaint little shelters, presumably inhabited by the humans that roamed peacefully among the fields, laughing, chatting, wearing colorful robes.

“Why do they all look like they’re from…” Gabriel glanced down, realizing he himself was in a white, flowing robe. One that he hadn’t worn since people stopped referring to the years as AD. In addition, his hair was longer, like he had it during that time too, cascading onto his shoulders. Ugh, that hair was such a pain to take care of.

“What the fuck is going on?” Gabriel muttered to himself, standing and brushing off his front.

“Language, brother.”

Gabriel’s breath caught in his throat and he whipped around, now looking into the eyes of his brother Lucifer. He was in the same white robe, and he smirked mischievously. 

“L-Luci,” Was all Gabriel could choke out. Shockingly, Lucifer frowned, and place a hand on Gabriel’s forehead, as though checking his temperature.

“Are you alright Gabe? Your vessel looks pale,” He asked, “You know I was just messing with you, right?”

Gabriel swallowed. He really wanted to say “What the fuck is going on?” But he decided that this probably wasn’t the best course of action. “Uh...yeah. Sorry, you just caught me off guard.” Something about Lucifer’s eyes looked different yet familiar. They were kinder, a lighter sparkle about them instead of the burning anger and treachery that corrupted them after his banishment. He knew he shouldn’t let Lucifer catch him off guard, but it was such a comforting feeling to see his brother look like...his brother. Instead of some cruel beast.

“Sorry Gabe, gotta keep you on your toes if we’re going to protect these humans,” Lucifer motioned out towards the plains, his face soft with love and appreciation.

“You...like the humans?” Gabriel asked. 

“You don’t?”

“No, no I do, I love them,” An image of Sam briefly flashed through his mind and he blushed, “It’s just not like you. I thought you hated them.”

 

Lucifer bit his lip and heaved a heavy sigh. “I know. It took awhile for me to come around. But after they proved their loyalty in the Garden of Eden, and especially after you talked to me...I think I understand it now. Kind of,” He shrugged.

So the Garden of Eden was still intact. That, Gabriel thought, explains why everything looks like a hippie dream. Which isn’t that bad. It did make him wonder though…

“Luci, what year is it?”

“2018,” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the odd question.

“BC or AD?”

“What does that mean?” Lucifer turned his full body towards Gabriel now.

“You know, Before Christ and After -” Gabriel paused. “Jesus is still alive, isn’t he?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t he be? You sure you’re okay Gabe?” Lucifer once again put his hand on Gabriel’s forehead.

“So this is what everything was supposed to be like,” Gabriel pulled away from Lucifer and looked out across the humans, all going about their lives peacefully, not a care in the world. His brother was back to normal, which probably meant his whole family was still intact. He tilted his head up to the warmth of the setting sun and laughed, his grin stretching so wide it hurt. He looked back at Lucifer and pulled him into a tight embrace, so glad he could be this close to his brother without fear of getting stabbed again. It was just like the old times.

“Gabriel, what’s going on?” Concern seeped into Lucifer’s voice. He pulled away from Gabriel’s hug.

Gabriel sighed. He guessed he could tell him. This was the Lucifer he trusted. “Luci, I’m not supposed to be here. All of this -” He gestured around him “- Never happened in the reality I’m from.”

“The reality you’re from?”

Gabriel nodded. “There’s a bunch of different realities. In the one I’m from, Eve couldn’t keep her grubby hands off the apple or pomegranate, or whatever it was, Dad gave you the Mark of Cain, you despise humans, so Dad cast you from Heaven and into Hell, I ran away, Michael hates you, Raphael’s dead, the Apocalypse almost started -” Gabriel stopped, shaking his head, “Everything went to shit. I think it was especially because of -” Gabriel glanced down at Lucifer’s arm. The Mark wasn’t there.

Lucifer followed his gaze. “What? What’s the Mark of Cain?”

“It’s a seal that contained Amara, after she and Dad kept fighting.”

“What? Gabe, none of this is making sense, Amara and Dad worked together to make Earth. I swear you’re on some shrooms or something right now,” Lucifer shook his head dismissively.

“No I - You know what? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re here, and I’m here, and we’re not trying to kill each other,” Gabriel smiled, “Come on, let’s go for a walk, show me around Luci.”

Lucifer still looked at Gabriel strangely, but he chuckled and shrugged. “Alright, come on weirdo,” He gestured for Gabriel to follow him as they walked down the hill and into the fields. Every human they passed either whispered excitedly to their friend or loved one, or they politely said hello. Lucifer gave a simple wave and a nod. Gabriel, however, would shoot finger guns or give high fives, and the people would look astounded at first, then laugh joyously, knowing they had just touched the hand of an archangel.

Eventually, though the walk seemed so short to Gabriel’s euphoric mind, they made it to the edge of the meadow, where a thick oak forest ringed the edges. Though Lucifer looked ready to stop, Gabriel kept going. The sun was still just barely in the sky, creating long shadows and warm dapples of light on the forest floor that made Gabriel’s hair shine. Lucifer snorted as Gabriel messed with his hair, fixing it to his liking.

“You should really cut your hair. I’m sure your vessel wouldn’t mind. It makes you look like a woman,” Lucifer commented.

“Nothing wrong with that,” Gabriel retorted, looking at Lucifer with a grin. Speaking of vessels made Gabriel notice something odd. Sam was supposed to be Lucifer’s perfect vessel. So why was he still in that Nick fella?

“Hey, why are you using this guy as your vessel?” Gabriel asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Sam’s your true vessel. Why aren’t you in him?”

“Sam…?” Lucifer waited for Gabriel to fill in the last name. Gabriel stopped, staring at him in disbelief.

“Winchester? Sam Winchester?” Lucifer still looked lost, “6-foot-4, floppy hair, wears lots of plaid or whatever the robe equivalent of plaid is?” Still nothing, “Come on Luci, Sam! Ridiculously pretty eyes, huge shoulders, long legs? You gotta know who he is!”

Lucifer shook his head. “Never heard of him. Ever. And I’m a watchful archangel. I’m not even sure who you’re thinking of exists,” He said.

Gabriel’s heart sunk, as did the sun behind the trees. Sam didn’t exist in this reality? That couldn’t be right. “What about John and Mary Winchester? Have you heard of them?”

Lucifer snorted. “No duh, Gabe. John is Michael’s vessel. Though there’s no Mary Winchester.”

Gabriel furrowed his brows, “Mary Campbell then?”

Lucifer nodded. “Yes, but she died a while ago. Humans, they never last long,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

Gabriel ran his hand through his bangs. Sam didn’t exist here. It was only now that he remembered what Rowena had said - that the world may only consist of most of the ideal possibilities, not all of them. And one of the choices not included in Gabriel’s package was Sam.

Fuck, Sam. How had he forgotten him for so long? Everyone was probably worried about him. Or at least Sam was. How was he going to get back? Was the portal even still open?

Gabriel looked up as Lucifer put his hand on his shoulder. “Gabriel, what’s wrong? I feel like that’s all I’m asking you today,” he forced a chuckle. Gabriel took Lucifer’s hand and examined it with his own, running his fingertips over it. Their hands were so smooth, foreign to the hard work they had ensued back in Gabriel’s own reality. It was all too perfect. Well, Gabriel knew that from the beginning, but had ignored it. Of course there was a catch. And of course it was fucking Sam and his stupid perfect laugh.

He remembered what Rowena had said - that this world was a culmination of all the missed opportunities of a person’s life. Of a person’s life. Only one person, only their experiences. That, coupled with his brain getting probed, finally led Gabriel to the conclusion he wasn’t sure how he missed earlier.

“This isn’t an alternate reality. This is just a fantasy,” Gabriel murmured, letting Lucifer’s hand drop as he turned away.

“You could always stay, you know,” Lucifer, or whoever the hell he was, suggested, “Isn’t this everything you ever wanted?

And for a moment, Gabriel considered it. For one, self-hating moment, he thought of it as a viable option. It was everything his heart ached for - His family no longer fought, his favorite big brother was back to his old, uncorrupt self, and they were serving the purpose they were made for. They were the shepherds of the pure, innocent little humans, just like Dad had intended them to be in the first place. He could stay here forever, laugh along with his siblings, mess around with a couple mortals, and forget all about the troubles of his world. What was stopping him from doing that? It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before.

That was just it though - he’d run before and now he was thinking of running again. He couldn’t run. Not from Sam. Not when they needed him.

Not when Sam needed him.

“No, I can’t,” Gabriel shook his head and turned back to Lucifer. “You’re not real. None of this is,” He gestured around him sadly, “I need to go back home.”

Lucifer nodded in understanding, his eyes knowing, revealing him as a part of this cruel trick. He held out a hand to Gabriel, who took it, and with a flap of their wings they appeared back on top of the hill where they started. Lucifer pointed up at the sky, and Gabriel followed his gaze to see the swirling portal that he had emerged from, barely a speck in the darkness. Gabriel stretched his golden wings wide. He turned to Lucifer one last time, eyes stinging with bittersweet tears.

“Maybe when everything stops being batshit crazy, this can be a reality,” Gabriel said with a shrug.

The fake Lucifer smirked softly. “Perhaps. You can always return, if you feel the need.” 

Gabriel smiled and nodded. He turned back around, looked up, and beat his wings, soaring high into the sky, wind whipping his long hair behind him. He reached out his hand, fingers only gracing the portal before the whole world turned white again.

 

Cold hardwood floors sent a shiver up Gabriel’s spine as he landed, bare feet exposed. It took him a moment to gather his surroundings, head swirling, but then he saw Sam in front of him, eyes wide with shock.

“Gabriel - how - we tried to remake it and get to the right world but it was never yours. So how did you - Why are you in a robe?” Sam had so many questions he could only get parts of them out at a time. Gabriel narrowed his eyes and looked down. Ah, so he was still wearing his robe. Did he even have underwear on? He blushed in embarrassment. Even his hair was still long.

“My ideal world was basically everything in the Bible actually going right. Me and Luci were cool, auntie Amara and Dad worked together, stuff like that,” Gabriel explained, “Thus is why I got put in robes. But then I decided to come back, Luci showed me the portal, and bada bing bada boom, I’m back.”

Gabriel glanced around. The bunker was empty and dark, no one else in sight. “Where’d everybody go?”

“Dean got all pissy and went out for a drive, Cas followed him, and Rowena is...somewhere around here...she’s impossible to find,” Sam sighed, shrugging. He shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. You said you decided to come back. You were given the chance to stay?”

Gabriel bit his lip and nodded.

“Why didn’t you? I mean - not that I’d want you to. But it sounds like everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Gabriel looked up at Sam, not saying anything. The gears clicked behind Sam’s mind and he blushed. “O-oh,” Sam’s face burned even brighter as Gabriel grinned. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Gabriel smiled, taking Sam’s hand once again. Rough and calloused. Perfectly imperfect. “So am I.”


End file.
